metalcxre:

when my friend had her first kiss, she told everyone her mouth got laid

she didn’t realize that everyone thought she’d given a blowjob on the first date

(via sorelatable)


notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

(via ruinedchildhood)


nippled:

2009 me was very wary of akon

nippled:

2009 me was very wary of akon

(via condom)


the-greasy-goatsby:

After 17 season’s of Pretty Little Liars, A is revealed and captured. The girls hug each other in a safe embrace, but are interrupted by the faint noise of a text. They read it aloud and stare into the distance, “It’s my turn, bitches -B”.

(via jonasbrothers)



sweatyeah:

thescienceofjohnlock:

this kinda sums up tumblr for me

OH MY GOD

sweatyeah:

thescienceofjohnlock:

this kinda sums up tumblr for me

OH MY GOD

(via condom)


unshaped:

"you can’t copy my homework because our teacher will know that you copied it from me"

image

(via gnarly)


vuelie:

wearing a blanket around the house like

image

(via ruinedchildhood)